hoodwinked!

as i may or may not have mentioned before, job hunting is far less fun than pretty much all of the other things i hate:
grocery shopping on sunday afternoon;
arguing with a 3 year old;
moving your entire residence without the help of any sober individual;
listening to hilary talk about how she is going to "let" barack run on HER ticket;
waiting for comcast to attend to a service problem;
running into a significant ex at the gym;
you get the picture...

it's a game. it's like your goofy best friend from high school. it will lift you up just high enough to see over the fence into your kick-ass future, only to pull your legs from underneath you and laugh as you fall to the ground. i think that i've learned to play... the trick is to grab onto the fence before you fall and figure out how to swing up and over. i'm still hanging...

so last week, i got a phone call letting me know that i'd finally scored an interview at the company i've been wanting to work for ever since i went back to school. my interview at ann arbor radio group was yesterday and it went like this: i arrive, feeling good, looking professional and i meet the guy who's going to interview me. he seems like a pretty cool, laid back guy... he's in jeans and a button-up so that puts me at ease since i'm definitely more comfortable with the "casual" crowd. we have what i think is a great interview, although he does throw out a few questions that make me wonder "why did he ask me that?". he wraps it up and asks the customary "do you have any questions?" question. of course i do. i'm prepared. so i go into what it is i do understand about the position and ask if he could tell me a little more about what my responsibilities would be. the look on this guy's face was one of pure confusion and embarrassment. turns out, my resume was passed along to the sales department and he was interviewing me for an ad sales position, unbeknownst to me. let's pause and imagine my shock and dissapointment. i thought this job was going to be my ticket into the radio biz, out of the U, and perhaps into my own condo. i know my great future is out there, i just don't know how to get to it.

another pause, this time for a tom petty lyric: "god, it's so painful when something is so close... and still so far out of reach"

subsequently, i went home with my tail between my legs and drank it away. today, i am able to laugh it off but haven't shaken the disappointment yet. it reminds me of my time in california job hunting and/or soul searching. i went in for a sports marketing interview one morning and was somehow tricked into going door to door in dress shoes for 9 hours in the rain. i don't even remember what the hell i was selling. note to potential employees: if you have to be tricked into a position, you probably shouldn't take it.

although i can say i'm in quite the predicament now. i don't want to sell shit, but i can certainly think of less appealing things to sell than radio advertising. people think they are straight celebrity status once they hear their name or voice on the air. the salary is higher than my current salary and i'd be earning commission on top of that. maybe it's something to think about. when i was first offered an internship at greater media, i originally turned it down. it turned out to be the best thing that has happened to me in the business, and regardless of where i go from here, i will always credit the people i've met there for jump-starting my career. maybe this is another "door close - window open" situation. everything good that's ever happened to me has happened on accident and has been the result of me taking leap of faith. analysis and advice is welcome...

can a sista get a shovel?

please help me find the logic in this... it is february. there is about 6 inches of snow blanketing the midwest. it is 10 degrees today with a windchill of 0. i check 4 different stores for a snow shovel and everyone looks at me like i'm crazy. "we haven't had snow shovels in awhile", a pimply-faced 18 year old tells me at Lowe's. and i got the distinct feeling he was rolling his eyes at me as i walked away. there is, however, a vast selection of patio furniture, grills, garden hoses and lawn mowers... none of which will prove useful for at least 3 more months, more likely 4.

am i crazy? there's snow on my sidewalk... can i get a fucking snow shovel??? or maybe a bag of salt? there's ice out there too.

apparently not. according to the logic of retail, i must buy a snow shovel in september - 3 months before it actually snows - and a sun umbrella in february, so it can clutter my basement until springtime. and springtime in michigan = june. but it's not just seasonal home and garden sections that are completely retarded. if i want anything remotely cute and in my size, i must buy my swimsuit now. have i mentioned there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? my kid is already growing out of her winter clothes that were given to her back in the fall, but i won't even hope to find a hoodie or a long-sleeved tshirt until july. perhaps i'll just blast the A/C and put it to good use then.

seriously, who comes up with this stuff? i need to cuss them out.

smart Seuss!

well, i was going to do a series this week. a series about dr. Seuss and his not-so-subtle socially concious children's books. the plan was to do one a week and discuss, but since none of them are published online and i am far too lazy to type the words to each of the books out, you can just go read them for yourselves. seriously, this dude was really about something. i've been reading my old favorites to my daughter and 25-ish years after i was introduced to Seuss, they have a whole new meaning. for starters, try these on for size:

-The Butter Battle Book (for anyone who needs a little perspective on the meaning of war)
-Yertle the Turtle (regarding power, authority and the civil obedience of the minions)
-The Sneetches (a look at discrimination and the ability of some people to capitalize on our fears of differences)

check 'em out. as much as we like to analyze and debate all of society's flaws, sometimes it's so much simpler than that. so simple, in fact, it can be reduced to a child's terms and still make plenty of sense.

economic stimulus?

well, the more extensive economic stimulus package got rejected today - not unlike a swat from shaq, sending your perfectly constructed jumper into the stands. on a selfish level, i am a little disappointed. i mean, lets be real, less money for me sucks. at this point, i'm looking at $900 vs. $1100. here's what i don't get: this whole idea of injecting money into the economy to "stimulate" it seems like a good idea, but will it really work?

recently, i read a study somewhere (i forget where or i'd link it) that your average citizen receiving this rebate will less likely put that money into the economy and more likely use it to pay off debt they already have. hey, that was my plan. i don't know the numbers, but i do know that personal debt is a mutha right now and it's ruining people's shot at the american dream. i guess maybe that means the economy will reap the benefits of this plan eventually.... i.e., you pay off your debt now, get your credit back together and then buy a house in five years. i just have a feeling that 5 years isn't fast enough. politicians are going to be looking for stimulus before the regime change, because that's what this is really about: the american people generally hate the leader of the free world right now and he needs to do something to "make up" the last 7 years to them. who am i kidding though? it won't happen in that round-about way anyhow, considering a few hundred dollars on debt is like punching a brick wall.... you're not gonna dent it.

but maybe, just maybe, the greed and the selfishness will take over and we'll all run out and buy a new wardrobe or an MacBook Air instead. i had also considered a new bedroom set. i'm not gonna lie here - large lump sums of money equal instant gratification for me. i'm trying real hard to be financially responsible here. perhaps the government is counting on the general public to be just as self indulgent... and financially irresponsible... as i am?

the writers' strike

please oh please will someone please pay these people what they are asking for? really? is there not enough money in hollywood to go around? this strike is seriously fucking up my whole world. i love television... pathetic, i know, but what can i say? when i get home every night after a long day of work and the little one is finally put to bed, this is my way of losing myself. destressing. whatever you want to call it. sure, i could be doing more productive things like washing dishes or clothes or just general cleaning. but to be honest... i don't want to. by the time 9pm rolls around, i'm over it. no more work!

i cannot deal with the fact that there's only one new episode of desperate housewives every other month. and brothers and sisters maybe once a month. NO. I NEED MORE. i must have my senator mccalister fix every week! my sunday nights are completely ruined, save the L Word and Vh1's lousy attempt at reality tv. the only tv night i have to look forward to is friday. FNL was gone for awhile, but it's back and it's still good. if their show can still go on, so can everyone else's. and, on a side note, i am begging for the second season of Californication. hank is my imaginary boyfriend and i need him.

i'm hoping someone will get smart and resolve this nonsense soon, considering sweeps is quickly approaching. pay the writers. most of hollywood's actors/actresses are overpaid anyway. i'm sure that the writers are not asking for much, relatively. after all, these people make the shows what they are. every once in awhile, an actor (like David Duchovny) will define the show, but rarely does this happen. i mean, damn, why they try to stick them for their paper?

out of the mouths

kids crack me up, especially my own. here are two related, totally un-coached exchanges between amaia and my father:

papa: amaia, why do you have an "S" on the bottom of your socks?
kiddo: because i'm a star.
papa: (laughing) and why are you a star?
kiddo: because i do everything good.

the next day...

papa: amaia, why are you a star? (hoping for the same hilarious answer)
kiddo: because i ROCK OUT!!!!! (answered with an eruption of uncontrollable, tears-in-your-eyes kind of laughter from myself and both my parents)

where do they get this stuff???

come out, come out...

wherever you are. kwame does it again. while in hiding, he's successfully secured detroit's slot as the most shameful city in the country. and he's THE MAYOR! seriously, i don't know whether to be amused or angry with the dude. last week, kwame "i like titties" kilpatrick (nickname courtesy of Brown Guy - keep an eye out for his blog regarding this... it's guaranteed to be funnier than this one) was busted. he was having an affair with his chief of staff, but more importantly, he lied about it on the stand. well, there goes his law license. did someone say "that's mighty clinton-ish of you, kwame"? the super-cool, sneaky way he was busted? text messages (in which he stated to his lover "never busted")!!! i love it. for all the juicy verbage, check out the story on click-on-detroit. it does make you think twice about what your thumbs are saying to your cell pals, though. sure hope they never subpoena my texts!

when he was brought forth in a whitsleblower lawsuit, back in september, i thought what was going on then was nonsense. but this really takes the cake. dude thinks he's straight tony soprano.... above the law. he's throwing parties at his mansion where strippers beef with his wife, then end up whacked. he's bangin' the chief of staff and firing her employees for investigating it (their whistleblower trial is when he "allegedly" committed perjury). he had a secret get-away home down south that he was staying at last week until he was tracked down there. i wonder if the manoogian mansion has a batcave with a super speedy get-away vehicle too? and now he's totally AWOL. he will not come out of hiding or issue any public statement. hellooooooo? is anyone out there who wants to lead this city? do you feel the shame yet, detroit? remember, it was you that reelected him.

to you, mayor kilpatrick, i raise my peach-flavored swisher sweet and my mad dog 20/20 and say here's to you... oh silver tongued ambassador of motown. you could have done a lot of good for the city if not for your one weakness. seems like every issue you've had stems from one thing. it's like The Roots said: "everytime i turn around it's more pussy galore".

democracy schamocracy

despite the minute percentage of people who discuss politics all year round and will try to convince you to do the same, most folks don't pay any mind until a presidential election year rolls around. even still, the majority probably don't even participate in the primaries/caucuses and will wait until the november election before they choose to exercise their civil right to vote. it is my belief that the ones who exclude themselves from the polls altogether do so because they still think their vote doesn't count. after all, one in 300 million is far less significant than say, one in 100. i am not really passing judgement here - in fact, i rarely vote in local or state elections.

you may be aware that today is the day that michigan is holding its primary election. more likely though, you aren't. it seems as though even the potential democratic nominees (at least the major ones) have forgotten the poverty ridden, economically deficient great lakes state today. but wait. not forgotten as much as ignored. you can't really blame them. the state of michigan has chosen to break DNC rules and push their primary three weeks up, supposedly in order to boost their importance in the race. stadium status. ironically (and more characteristic of the mitten's government), they've succeeded in the exact opposite. most candidates withdrew from the primary, leaving clinton as the only viable democrat on the ballot. my beef? the city of detroit and its many suburban communities will essentially fall silent. the unemployed. the poor. the under-represented. their hopes for change, for a light at the end of the tunnel, dashed. truth be told, i understand where state leaders were coming from... the rules are incredibly stupid... but it seems to me that there must be a better way. now is not the time to sacrifice the vote in order to make a point.

http://www.publius.org/help/jan15th.asp

four years ago, i cast my vote for edwards. two years ago, i was introduced to obama.... by oprah (she changes lives!). admittedly, i was torn between the two this time around. no matter. apparently, i must sit back and let the rest of the country decide for me - i'd be happy with either of the two earning the nomination. but darkening the circle to the right of "uncommitted" today left me with an empty feeling. it was a small step backward for me, one who was jarred by the initial bush election. i didn't vote that day, eight years ago (wasn't even registered), and i learned that evening that every vote actually does count. today i did vote and in reality, it doesn't count for a thing.

to taze or not to taze?

this morning, i read about Taser parties on CNN.com. although it sounded a little sketch to me, i investigated further and discovered that yes, indeed these were akin to mary kay, pure romance and pampered chef parties. and here's the part that hooked me: most attendees were single women who live alone.

it wasn't until i became a parent and decided that i was "better off alone" that i began to lie in bed and dream up all of the horrible things that could happen to me, or god forbid, my daughter before sunlight came again. seriously, it gets me all worked up. i am, by nature, a relatively anxious person, but this pushes me over the edge some nights. i am shamed to say that i feel more comfortable with a man in the house, but i do. rosie the rivoter would be disappointed. i gotta admit, i am often scared for my life, even when there is no threat present.

but back to the taser parties... after reading the article, i decided that i want one! not as scary as a gun, but more useful than my trusty ol' baseball bat that lies hidden near my bed. i felt a weight lift from my shoulders. i had finally found a solution to protecting my small family and feeling safe again in my own home! even the $350 pricetag won't discourage me (that's what tax returns are for). imagine my dismay when i discover that they are illegal in about 6 or 7 states and michigan is one of those states. i should find out more anyway, but for now...

do any of you feel like, uh, picking one up next time you're in town???

50 bucks?!?!

another testament to how greedy the wealthy are in this country. dude from connecticut finds a check for $185K on the street. he works at mcdonalds and receives food stamps just to get by. does he cash the check? nope. in fact, he tracks down the (wealthy) landlord who was supposed to receive the check. THEN, he hops on a bus and returns the check to the lady that wrote it in the first place. keep in mind that this woman is writing a $185K check for RENT. do you know what she rewards him with? 50 bucks. i'll kill a bitch!

wow. hey buddy, hope you enjoy puttin' that 50 on your kid's winter coat layaway while this bitch heads to her $2K spa appointment. if there's ever a next time, i'd keep that shit if i were you. someone like that doesn't deserve to keep their money. if one needs to be that frugal, one should probably make sure they don't leave their rent in the streets.