hoodwinked!

as i may or may not have mentioned before, job hunting is far less fun than pretty much all of the other things i hate:
grocery shopping on sunday afternoon;
arguing with a 3 year old;
moving your entire residence without the help of any sober individual;
listening to hilary talk about how she is going to "let" barack run on HER ticket;
waiting for comcast to attend to a service problem;
running into a significant ex at the gym;
you get the picture...

it's a game. it's like your goofy best friend from high school. it will lift you up just high enough to see over the fence into your kick-ass future, only to pull your legs from underneath you and laugh as you fall to the ground. i think that i've learned to play... the trick is to grab onto the fence before you fall and figure out how to swing up and over. i'm still hanging...

so last week, i got a phone call letting me know that i'd finally scored an interview at the company i've been wanting to work for ever since i went back to school. my interview at ann arbor radio group was yesterday and it went like this: i arrive, feeling good, looking professional and i meet the guy who's going to interview me. he seems like a pretty cool, laid back guy... he's in jeans and a button-up so that puts me at ease since i'm definitely more comfortable with the "casual" crowd. we have what i think is a great interview, although he does throw out a few questions that make me wonder "why did he ask me that?". he wraps it up and asks the customary "do you have any questions?" question. of course i do. i'm prepared. so i go into what it is i do understand about the position and ask if he could tell me a little more about what my responsibilities would be. the look on this guy's face was one of pure confusion and embarrassment. turns out, my resume was passed along to the sales department and he was interviewing me for an ad sales position, unbeknownst to me. let's pause and imagine my shock and dissapointment. i thought this job was going to be my ticket into the radio biz, out of the U, and perhaps into my own condo. i know my great future is out there, i just don't know how to get to it.

another pause, this time for a tom petty lyric: "god, it's so painful when something is so close... and still so far out of reach"

subsequently, i went home with my tail between my legs and drank it away. today, i am able to laugh it off but haven't shaken the disappointment yet. it reminds me of my time in california job hunting and/or soul searching. i went in for a sports marketing interview one morning and was somehow tricked into going door to door in dress shoes for 9 hours in the rain. i don't even remember what the hell i was selling. note to potential employees: if you have to be tricked into a position, you probably shouldn't take it.

although i can say i'm in quite the predicament now. i don't want to sell shit, but i can certainly think of less appealing things to sell than radio advertising. people think they are straight celebrity status once they hear their name or voice on the air. the salary is higher than my current salary and i'd be earning commission on top of that. maybe it's something to think about. when i was first offered an internship at greater media, i originally turned it down. it turned out to be the best thing that has happened to me in the business, and regardless of where i go from here, i will always credit the people i've met there for jump-starting my career. maybe this is another "door close - window open" situation. everything good that's ever happened to me has happened on accident and has been the result of me taking leap of faith. analysis and advice is welcome...

"belief is a beautiful armor"

boy, i know i'm going to hear some shit about this one, but here it goes anyway...

i hate religion. i hate it because it makes people believe that they are better than you. i hate it because it can lead thousands to die in a war fought between two groups... two groups who both believe they are fighting in the name of God. i hate religion because, in my opinion, it breeds hate.

yesterday, a federal jury awarded the family of a dead marine 10.9 million dollars. his was one of the hundreds of funerals protested by "God-fearing" people who carried signs with multitudes of hateful messages: "Thank God for dead soldiers". "God hates Fags". i am sick. SICK. i am so angry that there are tears in my eyes. listen, i know that this is a small group compared to the billions of humans that practice organized religion. i know this. but the majority of my contact with religion has involved some form of "better-than-thou" attitude. according to some, my life is so empty without God. because i have not been saved, i am going to hell. also, my daughter will go to hell. i am a firm believer of live and let live as long as noone gets hurt... and i'm sure that you think i will go to hell for that, too. let me point out one thing: you believe that. you do not know that. and i disagree with you.

it's no secret that this country is based on Christianity. it is the predominant belief system and anyone running for political office who believes differently dare not say it. i'll say it because nobody's voting for me anyway(Kara for President!!!). the idea of "family values" is a pillar of our society... even if it doesn't include homosexuals, poor folk, sick folk, or intentionally single-parent households. i guess they just don't fit into the "correct way" of living in America. i've seen a close family member turn his back on his own brother, his own blood, because he is what i like to call a "super-christian" and his brother is gay. what warrants that? belief. for the record, i am extremely liberal and probably a little extreme in my way of thinking. that, however, does not mean that i would include people like rapists, muderers, or abusers into the "don't-fit-in-but-should" category. my definition of the difference is that their way of living hurts others.

i also believe myself to be an extremely open-minded person. often, i do not agree with others' beliefs about God and the likes, but i never impose that upon them. that is their own business and if that's what fills their lives with joy, then so be it, as long as they're not hateful toward others. i think that faith is a powerful thing... in fact, "faith" is permanently written on my body because i feel that it's the most important thing that a person can possess. my faith just happens to lie in myself. nobody is responsible for me but me. not even God. so why is it, then, that faith generally leads a person to believe that they are right versus someone else's wrong? who's to say what's right? i already know what most people reading this will answer to that question (God is to say), and i don't buy it. you don't know what God believes, you believe that you know through interpretation. because at some point in your life, some human being, whether it was your mother or father or a preacher, whatever, told you what to believe. it's as simple as belief - in all cases. honestly, it disgusts me that people can be so self-righteous and then use God as their defense. all i'm saying is that if you're going to preach love, acceptance, forgiveness, and/or tolerance... then practice it! God is NOT your excuse.

"Based on his interpretation of what the words were saying, trying to get to God but ends up doing the work of Satan... So it all sounds the same to me. That's why when they say one is right and the other's wrong, it just sounds like game to me. It's like God skipped past the church and came to me. No, that ain't vein to me. It's just a particular way that I came to see - the difference between those who claim to be religious and those that say they're spiritual..." - Give 'em Hell, Kweli

"When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up." - Serendipity, Dogma

"Belief is a beautiful armor. But makes for the heaviest sword. Like punching underwater. You never can hit who you trying for. Some need the exhibition. Some have to know their trying. It’s the chemical weapon for the war that’s raging on the inside." - Belief, John Mayer