Wednesday, February 27, 2008

can a sista get a shovel?

please help me find the logic in this... it is february. there is about 6 inches of snow blanketing the midwest. it is 10 degrees today with a windchill of 0. i check 4 different stores for a snow shovel and everyone looks at me like i'm crazy. "we haven't had snow shovels in awhile", a pimply-faced 18 year old tells me at Lowe's. and i got the distinct feeling he was rolling his eyes at me as i walked away. there is, however, a vast selection of patio furniture, grills, garden hoses and lawn mowers... none of which will prove useful for at least 3 more months, more likely 4.

am i crazy? there's snow on my sidewalk... can i get a fucking snow shovel??? or maybe a bag of salt? there's ice out there too.

apparently not. according to the logic of retail, i must buy a snow shovel in september - 3 months before it actually snows - and a sun umbrella in february, so it can clutter my basement until springtime. and springtime in michigan = june. but it's not just seasonal home and garden sections that are completely retarded. if i want anything remotely cute and in my size, i must buy my swimsuit now. have i mentioned there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? my kid is already growing out of her winter clothes that were given to her back in the fall, but i won't even hope to find a hoodie or a long-sleeved tshirt until july. perhaps i'll just blast the A/C and put it to good use then.

seriously, who comes up with this stuff? i need to cuss them out.

Monday, February 11, 2008

smart Seuss!

well, i was going to do a series this week. a series about dr. Seuss and his not-so-subtle socially concious children's books. the plan was to do one a week and discuss, but since none of them are published online and i am far too lazy to type the words to each of the books out, you can just go read them for yourselves. seriously, this dude was really about something. i've been reading my old favorites to my daughter and 25-ish years after i was introduced to Seuss, they have a whole new meaning. for starters, try these on for size:

-The Butter Battle Book (for anyone who needs a little perspective on the meaning of war)
-Yertle the Turtle (regarding power, authority and the civil obedience of the minions)
-The Sneetches (a look at discrimination and the ability of some people to capitalize on our fears of differences)

check 'em out. as much as we like to analyze and debate all of society's flaws, sometimes it's so much simpler than that. so simple, in fact, it can be reduced to a child's terms and still make plenty of sense.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

economic stimulus?

well, the more extensive economic stimulus package got rejected today - not unlike a swat from shaq, sending your perfectly constructed jumper into the stands. on a selfish level, i am a little disappointed. i mean, lets be real, less money for me sucks. at this point, i'm looking at $900 vs. $1100. here's what i don't get: this whole idea of injecting money into the economy to "stimulate" it seems like a good idea, but will it really work?

recently, i read a study somewhere (i forget where or i'd link it) that your average citizen receiving this rebate will less likely put that money into the economy and more likely use it to pay off debt they already have. hey, that was my plan. i don't know the numbers, but i do know that personal debt is a mutha right now and it's ruining people's shot at the american dream. i guess maybe that means the economy will reap the benefits of this plan eventually.... i.e., you pay off your debt now, get your credit back together and then buy a house in five years. i just have a feeling that 5 years isn't fast enough. politicians are going to be looking for stimulus before the regime change, because that's what this is really about: the american people generally hate the leader of the free world right now and he needs to do something to "make up" the last 7 years to them. who am i kidding though? it won't happen in that round-about way anyhow, considering a few hundred dollars on debt is like punching a brick wall.... you're not gonna dent it.

but maybe, just maybe, the greed and the selfishness will take over and we'll all run out and buy a new wardrobe or an MacBook Air instead. i had also considered a new bedroom set. i'm not gonna lie here - large lump sums of money equal instant gratification for me. i'm trying real hard to be financially responsible here. perhaps the government is counting on the general public to be just as self indulgent... and financially irresponsible... as i am?

Monday, February 4, 2008

the writers' strike

please oh please will someone please pay these people what they are asking for? really? is there not enough money in hollywood to go around? this strike is seriously fucking up my whole world. i love television... pathetic, i know, but what can i say? when i get home every night after a long day of work and the little one is finally put to bed, this is my way of losing myself. destressing. whatever you want to call it. sure, i could be doing more productive things like washing dishes or clothes or just general cleaning. but to be honest... i don't want to. by the time 9pm rolls around, i'm over it. no more work!

i cannot deal with the fact that there's only one new episode of desperate housewives every other month. and brothers and sisters maybe once a month. NO. I NEED MORE. i must have my senator mccalister fix every week! my sunday nights are completely ruined, save the L Word and Vh1's lousy attempt at reality tv. the only tv night i have to look forward to is friday. FNL was gone for awhile, but it's back and it's still good. if their show can still go on, so can everyone else's. and, on a side note, i am begging for the second season of Californication. hank is my imaginary boyfriend and i need him.

i'm hoping someone will get smart and resolve this nonsense soon, considering sweeps is quickly approaching. pay the writers. most of hollywood's actors/actresses are overpaid anyway. i'm sure that the writers are not asking for much, relatively. after all, these people make the shows what they are. every once in awhile, an actor (like David Duchovny) will define the show, but rarely does this happen. i mean, damn, why they try to stick them for their paper?

out of the mouths

kids crack me up, especially my own. here are two related, totally un-coached exchanges between amaia and my father:

papa: amaia, why do you have an "S" on the bottom of your socks?
kiddo: because i'm a star.
papa: (laughing) and why are you a star?
kiddo: because i do everything good.

the next day...

papa: amaia, why are you a star? (hoping for the same hilarious answer)
kiddo: because i ROCK OUT!!!!! (answered with an eruption of uncontrollable, tears-in-your-eyes kind of laughter from myself and both my parents)

where do they get this stuff???