Wednesday, February 27, 2008

can a sista get a shovel?

please help me find the logic in this... it is february. there is about 6 inches of snow blanketing the midwest. it is 10 degrees today with a windchill of 0. i check 4 different stores for a snow shovel and everyone looks at me like i'm crazy. "we haven't had snow shovels in awhile", a pimply-faced 18 year old tells me at Lowe's. and i got the distinct feeling he was rolling his eyes at me as i walked away. there is, however, a vast selection of patio furniture, grills, garden hoses and lawn mowers... none of which will prove useful for at least 3 more months, more likely 4.

am i crazy? there's snow on my sidewalk... can i get a fucking snow shovel??? or maybe a bag of salt? there's ice out there too.

apparently not. according to the logic of retail, i must buy a snow shovel in september - 3 months before it actually snows - and a sun umbrella in february, so it can clutter my basement until springtime. and springtime in michigan = june. but it's not just seasonal home and garden sections that are completely retarded. if i want anything remotely cute and in my size, i must buy my swimsuit now. have i mentioned there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? my kid is already growing out of her winter clothes that were given to her back in the fall, but i won't even hope to find a hoodie or a long-sleeved tshirt until july. perhaps i'll just blast the A/C and put it to good use then.

seriously, who comes up with this stuff? i need to cuss them out.


Lighter than Muki, but darker than Kris said...

Wow. I can smell your irritation.

Anonymous said...

Well, if it makes you feel any better, when my uncle first came to the US he went outside with a towel to try and "dry the snow" as he put it. Imagine how long it took him to figure out that it was not going to work....=(

PS: And the funniest part was him asking around about what kind of towel would work the best!