Tuesday, January 29, 2008

come out, come out...

wherever you are. kwame does it again. while in hiding, he's successfully secured detroit's slot as the most shameful city in the country. and he's THE MAYOR! seriously, i don't know whether to be amused or angry with the dude. last week, kwame "i like titties" kilpatrick (nickname courtesy of Brown Guy - keep an eye out for his blog regarding this... it's guaranteed to be funnier than this one) was busted. he was having an affair with his chief of staff, but more importantly, he lied about it on the stand. well, there goes his law license. did someone say "that's mighty clinton-ish of you, kwame"? the super-cool, sneaky way he was busted? text messages (in which he stated to his lover "never busted")!!! i love it. for all the juicy verbage, check out the story on click-on-detroit. it does make you think twice about what your thumbs are saying to your cell pals, though. sure hope they never subpoena my texts!

when he was brought forth in a whitsleblower lawsuit, back in september, i thought what was going on then was nonsense. but this really takes the cake. dude thinks he's straight tony soprano.... above the law. he's throwing parties at his mansion where strippers beef with his wife, then end up whacked. he's bangin' the chief of staff and firing her employees for investigating it (their whistleblower trial is when he "allegedly" committed perjury). he had a secret get-away home down south that he was staying at last week until he was tracked down there. i wonder if the manoogian mansion has a batcave with a super speedy get-away vehicle too? and now he's totally AWOL. he will not come out of hiding or issue any public statement. hellooooooo? is anyone out there who wants to lead this city? do you feel the shame yet, detroit? remember, it was you that reelected him.

to you, mayor kilpatrick, i raise my peach-flavored swisher sweet and my mad dog 20/20 and say here's to you... oh silver tongued ambassador of motown. you could have done a lot of good for the city if not for your one weakness. seems like every issue you've had stems from one thing. it's like The Roots said: "everytime i turn around it's more pussy galore".

1 comment:

Lighter than Muki, but darker than Kris said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. That being said, Kwame Kilpatrick is worse than the UM basketball team (think about that for a second).